Thursday 11 January 2024

Reciprocated Love

 遇见你,才知道没有爱你太多、也不会不值得你的爱

我们互补的完美,曾经让我怀疑完美真的存在吗,还是只是我单方面的蠢猜?


很多好朋友都为我高兴,说“终于”找到了吖

其实我排斥,什么叫“终于”?我一直秉持着单身很好、去约会也很好玩的心态,所以“终于”对我来说太沉重


最近也鼓励一个朋友积极去约会,她回道:“你是不是想念单身的日子?” 

我排斥她的有心无意的看法。我婚前婚后差不多,唯一的差别在于叫另一对夫妇爸爸妈咪,所以“想念单身”这phrase对我来说太无味


我的排斥很多,因为我至婚后,都还找不到结婚的理由。

我享受我和他的一切,但不是结婚的理由。


Tuesday 14 June 2022

The persistent ephemeral thoughts of me about us

It has been such a long while...

since the last time I embrace our innate ability to love, to give, to receive, to reciprocate 

I do not get bored out of my brain cells when you serve yourself to me on a silver relationship platter, no.

Cause I'd do the same without second thought, too. It's called trust and communication, it's called no stupid games, it's called knowing exactly what we want.



You came along the perfect timing, in our perfect selves. 

You are a luxurious necessity in my life now, 

for which you make the flowers bloom bountifully that the view of just the field is always breathtaking with you beside me,

for which you illuminate the solemn sky with spangled stars that just the immense solemn is always enchanting with your arms wrapped around me,

for which you dance frenetically in my blank space that just the unruffled moment is always ecstatic with your lulling breath beside my ears.


Love is a conscious decision, that comes with conditions, opines in our lovemaking, lingers in our murmured endearment, amplified in our every next breath. 



It isn't painful anymore, it isn't burdensome anymore, it isn't precarious anymore;

It is now you, it is now us, I am now home safe and sound.







Saturday 23 May 2020

为什么在梦里,我那么确定那是巴勒斯坦?

在一艘快艇上,有着两节火车车厢,危险地在车厢上摆着各种危险姿势,接着才进游艇里说笑。
不知什么时候几位军人上了游艇,射死了他,射死了她,犹豫了一秒后射死了她,我装睡,他把我拉到脚边。

色诱而幸免。

那是个很慢很慢很慢的过程,没有对上眼神,他唤起我的做作。
 
我胆怯、我服从、我懦弱。

在日常,因为要求平等,决不接受任何不平等的想法、说法;在求存,我激发并成全他无谓的卓越感。

画面转至一道篱笆,这是一道主宰人权的篱笆。
篱笆前,是所有人;篱笆后,是某人自定义的人。
篱笆前,出现一对父子。
儿子健硕,约十七、六岁;
父亲头部和四肢严重创伤,粗略地包扎着。
篱笆间,儿子通过了;父亲被禁止了。
父亲举起了手,想和儿子道别。
不知哪来了个宝宝,把父亲因溃烂黏在一起的手指一支一支地掰开。
本应剧痛,但父亲一声不吭,也看不清父亲的脸色,只能感受到他对儿子强烈的不舍。
突然,宝宝把一手指掰断,轻咬了那截肢,好多小白虫跑了出来。

我唯一确定的是,那道篱笆是Palestine.




Monday 28 October 2019

这很美的梦,一个恶梦

你的温柔,那么真实,因为我还记得你的温柔;
你的笑容,那么真切,因为我怎么忘得了你的笑容;

还有
你沉稳的声音
你深邃的眼神
你羞涩的笑

这不是折磨,是什么
这不是虐待,是什么

梦里唯一的清醒,是我问了自己“你怎么可能回来了,怎么可能!”

还有,那温暖的拥抱

Monday 7 October 2019

kampachi

好久没有去Pavillion了

一踏入entrance,便是我们曾经一起牵手的回忆。
一抵达五楼,便是我们吵架的画面。

那时好爱你,我们都必须存钱好久才能在里面吃一顿好的
现在你走了,我能在这吃上好多顿,却再也没意义

我不要想你了 好累好累



Friday 27 September 2019

needy

I've met someone who share the same song list.

I've met someone who thinks that I'm cute because I'm weird.

I've met someone who wanna watch every movie with me.

I've met someone who is caring yet daring.

I've met someone who is kind and fine.


but

I am yet to meet the guy whom my fairy is going to sprinkle the pixie dust on,
who can make our moments magical,
whom I am not afraid to love wildly,
who can call me every morning and night,
whom I can prep breakfast for, pack lunch for, and have dinner together,

whom we need not to make the promise, but we know we'll be there for each other, for as long as we are in love.



Thursday 30 May 2019

may we be blessed with the strength we need right now

'repatriation' is a word that I'd never imagine using, on a friend.

death isn't a glimpse of darkness, but an inspiration for grief and despair.

she has played her last serenade the best possible way she could, and therefore left us tangled in the kind and sweet memories we shared.

may you rest in peace and may the family stay strong.