你

这很美的梦，一个恶梦

你的温柔，那么真实，因为我还记得你的温柔；
你的笑容，那么真切，因为我怎么忘得了你的笑容；

还有
你沉稳的声音
你深邃的眼神
你羞涩的笑

这不是折磨，是什么
这不是虐待，是什么

梦里唯一的清醒，是我问了自己“你怎么可能回来了，怎么可能！”

还有，那温暖的拥抱

kampachi

好久没有去Pavillion了

一踏入entrance,便是我们曾经一起牵手的回忆。
一抵达五楼，便是我们吵架的画面。

那时好爱你，我们都必须存钱好久才能在里面吃一顿好的
现在你走了，我能在这吃上好多顿，却再也没意义

我不要想你了 好累好累

needy

I've met someone who share the same song list.

I've met someone who thinks that I'm cute because I'm weird.

I've met someone who wanna watch every movie with me.

I've met someone who is caring yet daring.

I've met someone who is kind and fine.


but

I am yet to meet the guy whom my fairy is going to sprinkle the pixie dust on,
who can make our moments magical,
whom I am not afraid to love wildly,
who can call me every morning and night,
whom I can prep breakfast for, pack lunch for, and have dinner together,

whom we need not to make the promise, but we know we'll be there for each other, for as long as we are in love.

may we be blessed with the strength we need right now

'repatriation' is a word that I'd never imagine using, on a friend.

death isn't a glimpse of darkness, but an inspiration for grief and despair.

she has played her last serenade the best possible way she could, and therefore left us tangled in the kind and sweet memories we shared.

may you rest in peace and may the family stay strong.

the dull pain that pierce through nothingness

it fucking haunted me again, on a peaceful yet scorching hot Thursday night, I guess the awful selsery reminded me of the flaming hell we used to share.

i was even puzzled by myself in the nightmare, for i was still so crazy about you, and the climax of the nightmare was when you walked away from her.
brick by brick, the wall came tumbling down again, followed by the strings of pearls spilling down my face. It ripped through my muscles and my bones. You are crowned again, in my hollowness.

I woke up, as though I was still bearing the open wound, but I don't even have to attempt to hide the pain anymore. The emotion got walled off behind a mask of coping, easily.

True love is cruel, for it's a grand kingdom with no room for novelty, 

nothing ever worn off here, 

or rather, no one.

好像是你
好害怕是你
看了一下下
还是算了

原来 我们真的不能做朋友

后知后觉这种事，很常发生在我身上

昨天才发觉，自分手那么多年以来，我很少再追求与人有关的commitment。

在失去一个很爱很爱的人，一个我当时很有自信爱得很好的人以后，我的内心对追求已经起了层雾。

不是不要，而是不敢;
糟糕的是，这种不敢的感觉是潜意识的决定，根本是不在我的清醒意识下做的决定。
这是不是所谓的phobia?

害怕被拒绝，害怕失落的感觉，害怕跌到谷底。
这不是我的错，不是他的错，是我的自我防卫系统被启动。

由于我曾经歇斯底里，所以我的脑袋把这种不愉快的经历归纳进了“NO-NO category”,也把有关的trigger一并记载。

我一直以为我很坚持：我要的，我可以得到。
昨天才发觉，其实我一直在偷偷deny我想要的，是因为我知道，有些东西不是要就可以得到。

我决定再次出去被擦伤刮破碰个淤青，
与更多人建立更人性化更有温暖的感情。